Checklist for the Final Chapter
Recently, I’ve been having conversations with good friends about a topic we all choose to avoid: death. Specifically, their death… and mine.
Despite death being an unavoidable fate that’s simply part of life, we all avoid discussing it for fear of conjuring the Fates. However, what results from our avoidance is a grand mess left for others to untangle, often at considerable legal and emotional cost.
Let’s pull on our Big Girl Undies and face the fact that sooner or later we will all pass from this life and go where ever it is our spirits go. Before that happens, we have a responsibility to put our affairs in order and go with grace.
As each country has different laws and terminology, the following TO DO checklist strives to be universally relevant, but you DO need to seek legal guidance to help ensure your final wishes are honored.
Can’t I avoid it?
No! At birth, we’ve each been gifted the same incurable disease - ‘Life’ - which has the prognosis of death. There are however things we can do while still in good health - and more importantly - of right mind - to improve the odds that we will die with dignity, at a time of our choosing, and with minimal upheaval for those we leave behind.
While the emotional cost of losing a loved one is immeasurable, financial cost can leave them in financial ruin. No one wants that for their loved ones, so let’s start with the basics by answering a few obvious questions:
Terminology
Confused by the terminology? The following may help:
Last Will and Testament - All Wills need to be signed in the presence of two independent witnesses, who in turn must sign the document. If not done correctly, the Will is invalid. The witnesses must be over the age of 18 and not named as beneficiaries in the Will or related to any beneficiary named in the Will. It’s vital that you don’t think of writing a Will as one-off event. It should be reviewed every five years or when major changes happen in your life such as a marriage, divorce, or the loss of one of your beneficiaries and/or executors.
Medical Proxy - This US-centric term refers to a type of advance directive that gives a person (called a proxy) the authority to make medical decisions for another person if that person is not able to make their own decisions. A proxy is usually a spouse, relative, friend, or lawyer who knows the person's values, wishes, and treatment preferences.
Advanced Health Directive - This Australian-centric term outlines your preferences for your future care along with your beliefs, values and goals. Having an advance care directive means you can also formally appoint a substitute decision-maker for when you can no longer make decisions yourself. Advance care directives differ between states and territories
Power of Attorney - This is a legal document that allows you to appoint a person to manage financial and legal decisions on your behalf and continues even if you lose the ability to make decisions for yourself. It also becomes invalid when you die.
Euthanasia/ Voluntary Assisted Dying - Technically, euthanasia means a doctor administers the life-ending substance to a dying person - rather than the person taking it themselves. In Australia, the term 'voluntary assisted dying' covers both practices.
Common misconceptions
My spouse will inherit everything
Many people assume that their spouse, civil partner or common law partner would be entitled to everything after they die. This is not the case. If you die without making a Will, there are strict intestacy rules which dictate how your assets will be distributed.
Once I pass away, all my debts will be cancelled
Untrue. The deceased’s assets will be used to pay off any debts. Beneficiaries (either in a will or under the intestacy rules) will receive any estate that remains.
I can only set up a Power of Attorney when I have full mental capacity
Correct. A Power of Attorney can only be created by the person whose affairs will be taken care of. If that person doesn’t have the required mental capacity they cannot proceed and instead the family will have to apply to the court for a deputyship appointment which is both costly and time consuming.
I can make a will independently
While somewhat correct, it pays to remember that many homemade wills contain errors that invalidate the Will or a particular gift. Common mistakes include failing to sign correctly, not securing appropriate witnesses (such as minors or beneficiaries) or using incorrect wording.
Legal entanglements
OK. So we’re through the basics, so let’s now move on to the nuts and bolts of cleaning up the tangled - often messy - result of legalities:
Married? if you’re still technically married, yet don’t want your spouse to benefit from your passing, it may be time to seek a divorce. This helps create a paper-trail that’s revealing of your intentions, should you pass before the divorce is granted.
Estranged? Just because you’ve been estranged from your children for years, don’t think they can’t contest your Will. Even your grandchildren, who you may never have met, may have a valid claim by descent. It all depends on the country you reside in and what law will apply to your estate.
In debt? As stated above, your debts will be paid out from your estate before the remainder is paid out to beneficiaries. In some countries, your debts may even become the debts of your family, so check what applies in your country and pay off debts rather than making them someone else’s problem.
Gifting money? While inheritance allows for complete control over asset distribution until your death, gifting offers several potential advantages: Reduced estate tax liability may be possible when gifting assets during your lifetime to reduce the taxable value of your estate, potentially avoiding or minimizing inheritance tax upon your death. Seek legal advice for your country of residence.
Trust Issues - With a trust, there is no automatic judicial review. While this speeds up the process for beneficiaries, it also increases the risk of mismanagement. Trustees may not always act in the best interests of beneficiaries, and without court oversight, beneficiaries must take legal action if they suspect wrongdoing.
Business ownership - A succession plan focuses on continuing the business after the owner's death. It ensures a smooth transition of ownership and management, preserving the business's continuity and safeguarding its future. If you’re a business owner and have yet to formalize your succession plan, it’s time to do so.
Shares - Your Will will dictate what happens to any shares you may own. Shares, just like other assets, can be sold or transferred regardless of the existence of a Will though, so it’s important when writing a will or shareholders agreement, to know what liabilities and obligations exist for yourself and others. Speak to a lawyer about how to best make sure that your assets are distributed the way you want.
Stocks - After providing a death certificate, proof of identity, and probate court order, the Executor a beneficiary who has inherited shares can either transfer the shares into their account, or sell the shares for the proceeds.
Crypto - As a general rule, digital assets that are owned outright can be passed down through a Will. However, without specific instructions and access to your private keys or seed phrases, your crypto assets may be lost. Therefore, it is crucial to prepare a will and include detailed instructions about your crypto assets to ensure they can be passed on to your beneficiaries.
Other assets and possessions
Jewelry - to avoid bickering among beneficiaries, consider gifting jewelry as birthday or Christmas presents as you age. If its a valuable piece or of sentimental value, list it in your Will and include a photo, along with details of where the item is stored.
Art & heirlooms - My mother has labelled every heirloom, painting, clock, and piece of art so there’s no mistaking who gets what once she’s passed. Please just check the people you’re gifting your 127 antique clocks or collection of elephants to actually wants them!
Bank accounts & safe deposit boxes - If you have overseas bank accounts or safe deposit boxes, ensure the details for these are either included in your will, or filed with your important documents.
Vehicles - Keep ownership/ registration papers in with important documents. Vehicles and boats are counted as assets, and any debts owning on them will also be inherited.
Stock broker accounts - If you have an account with a broker and hold shares or commodities, ensure your next of kin know how to access them, Min, for example require two-step authentication that uses my fingerprint, so if that’s no longer available, then they may have a wee problem!
Superannuation & insurances - Super savings are considered an asset that’s divided amongst your beneficiaries. Ensure you’ve listed beneficiaries on your Super membership and any associated Life or Causality insurance policies.
Pensions/ benefits - It’s likely your pensions and benefits will cease once you pass, but some can be ‘inherited’ by a spouse. Check what applies to yours in your country of residence, and ensure your spouse is aware of the details.
Clothing - One of the most difficult things for loved ones to sort through and dispose of are a person’s clothes. They represent our personality, style and even hold our scent, so consider this when next you look in your closet. So you have far more than you require and is it time to do a Swedish death Clean and reduce to only those that you wear and need? Remember, your ‘stuff’ all carries an emotional cost and you don’t really want others to pay that price.
Storage - Many of us have a storage unit filled with things that hold sentimental value. Ask the manager of the storage facility to note the names of authorized people on your account, so if they can’t access you, they have other people to call. Leave a spare key to the padlock in their possession as well, and ensure your loved ones know the location of the storage facility.
Life, as we know it
Important documents - Passport, birth certificate, marriage/ divorce certificates, insurance papers, etc. should all be stored in a file that’s easy to locate in case of emergency.
Who to call list - There was a time when we all kept address books containing the contact details for friend and family. these little gems made advising others of an untimely passing a simple feat, whereas now, accessing our ‘contacts’ list on a phone, email or social media is nigh-on impossible, and nobody reads the obituaries in the newspaper! If you want people to attend your funeral or be informed of your passing, then create a call sheet with names/ numbers/ email addresses and give it to your next of kin. You may wish to highlight the names of those people you’d really value saying goodbye to, if you have the chance.
Important numbers list - Contact details for your lawyer, the Executor, your doctor, your next of kin, and details of your bank accounts, should all be kept in a well-known location (such as a sealed envelope labelled ‘In Case of Emergency’, on the side of the fridge. This helps speed things up if you’re unable to communicate or no longer around.
Medical history - Genetic descendants will benefit from having a record of your medical history. If you’re a parent, there’s also a good chance you kept medical records relating to each of your children. Ensure this important information is not inadvertently tossed out.Social media - Facebook allows you to name a person who can download or delete your social media account. This Legacy setting ensures friends and family don’t receive reminders each time your birthday rolls around. Take care of this now, and enure you let the person know if you’ve named them as your Legacy contact.
Passwords, combinations & keys- From phone and laptop passwords to safe combinations and storage unit or car keys, its really important someone else knows where to access this information, or has a spare set of keys.
Subscriptions - A friend of mine lost her adult son, but as he went missing, his many subscriptions to apps, Netflix, and games continued to be deducted from his account. She was unable to cancel them without the Certificate of Death, and so his savings account was drained dry unnecessarily. Ensure your banks have
Love letters - We all have skeletons in our closets. Some closets are small, some are bursting at the seams. Whatever yours are, consider the affect a secret may have on those left behind. If you’ve retained love letters from before the time when you partnered with your children’s other parent, then there may be no harm done in letting them be discovered. If those love letters are from an affair you had while married, then it may be best you dispose of them rather than be seen in a not-so-flattering light.
‘Toys’ - For heavens sake! Unless you want to further traumatize the kids, get rid of the sex toys if you know your time is neigh!
Pets - Pets are family too, and all-too-often they’re handed to the pound to be put down when a person passes. Please always ensure there’s a strong relationship that’s well-established with a secondary carer who agrees to adopt your pet if you should pass.
Lovers & illegitimate children - If you have a secret lover, it’s best to discuss how you’d like them to remain in the shadows should you unexpectedly pass. They may feel they have a claim to your estate, so discuss this ahead of time if necessary. If you have illegitimate children, then step up and ensure they’re also taken care of in your Will. this may require a letter of explanation to your other children and spouse, but so be it!
Famous last words
On a final note, I wrote each of my children a love letter when they were born, and added to these letters as we aged. they’ll find them some day when they sort through my possessions, and i hope my sentiments impart a sense of love, as intended. Now that technology is advanced, you may wish to leave your Final Words in the form of an audio recording or a video saved to the cloud and sent to them on a certain date, or as a personalized book. Whatever you choose, be aware that those famous last words will linger longer than you did, and so be kind, as it’s how you will ultimately be remembered. Death is not the time to get the last word in for revenge.
