How to Annoy Your Kids and Grandkids (Without Even Trying!)

Let’s be honest: no one sets out to annoy the younger people in their lives. And this isn’t a takedown of the Boomer generation—or anyone over 50. It’s not about blame. It’s about awareness…. With the best of intentions, many older adults say or do things that quietly create distance between themselves and the younger people they love. That distance doesn’t always show up as confrontation—in fact, it often shows up as silence, shorter visits, or fewer phone calls.

If you’re wondering why your grandkids roll their eyes, your adult children tune out, or your suggestions fall flat, it might be time for a gentle reset. Here are a few everyday behaviors that can push them away—without you even realizing it.

1. Believing Experience Always Beats Innovation

You’ve seen a lot, learned a lot, and you’ve probably made plenty of mistakes worth learning from. But assuming your way is always better just because it’s tried-and-true can come across as dismissive.

When a younger person suggests something new and you respond with, “That won’t work,” or “I’ve been doing this for 30 years,” it doesn’t sound wise—it sounds like a shutdown.

Try replacing judgment with curiosity. Ask how their idea works. Show interest. You might learn something. And even if you don’t agree, they’ll respect you more for listening.

2. Turning Conversations into Lectures

You have stories. You’ve got advice. And you’ve probably lived through some truly unbelievable times. But if every conversation with your kids or grandkids turns into a speech about “how it used to be,” you might be pushing them away.

Younger people crave mutual conversation—not being talked at. Let them talk. Ask questions. Show that you’re as interested in their lives as you’d like them to be in yours. It’s not about having the last word—it’s about sharing the moment.

3. Expecting Special Treatment Because of Your Age

You’ve earned your stripes, no doubt. But expecting to be waited on first, interrupting without apology, or saying things like, “You wouldn’t have what you have without my generation,” tends to land… poorly.

Respect goes both ways. Most young people are more than willing to show it—but they don’t respond well to entitlement. A little humility often earns more admiration than demanding deference ever could.

4. Complaining About “Kids These Days”

Yes, things have changed. Yes, the cost of living is higher. Yes, people behave differently. But when every conversation turns into a critique of “how things are now,” it can feel like an ongoing criticism of their whole generation.

Today’s young adults are facing pressures many older generations didn’t: sky-high housing costs, climate anxiety, student loan debt, job insecurity—and that’s just for starters.

You don’t need to pretend to love everything about modern life, but showing empathy for what they’re up against builds connection. Constant comparison creates distance.

5. Rolling Your Eyes at Technology

Sure, not everyone needs to live on Instagram or master TikTok. But dismissing all new tech as frivolous or silly can feel like you’re rejecting them—especially when so much of their world is digital.

Instead of scoffing at the latest app or gadget, try asking them how it works or why they like it. It’s not about becoming a tech whiz—it’s about showing you’re open to their world.

6. Telling Jokes That Don’t Land Anymore

What was once considered a harmless joke decades ago may now be seen as insensitive or outdated. Times have changed—and so has humor.

If someone younger tells you a joke was hurtful or inappropriate, brushing it off with “People are too sensitive these days” misses an opportunity for understanding.

Being mindful of the impact of your words isn’t about censorship—it’s about respect.

7. Assuming They Don’t Work as Hard

“You think you’ve got it tough?” is not a great way to start a conversation. Yes, older generations worked hard—but that doesn’t mean younger people aren’t.

The landscape has changed. Many young adults are juggling gig jobs, side hustles, remote work, and economic uncertainty. Their version of “hard work” may look different, but it’s still work.

Acknowledging their challenges—rather than comparing them to your own—creates space for empathy instead of defensiveness.

The Bottom Line

You don’t need to walk on eggshells. You don’t need to reinvent yourself. But a little awareness goes a long way.

When older adults lead with curiosity, humility, and mutual respect, they’re far more likely to stay close with the younger people in their lives. Not because they demand it—but because they’ve earned it.

Being heard and valued goes both ways. And when that happens, the generation gap starts to feel a whole lot smaller.